Guest Blogger Beverly Sartain: Are You Doing a Purpose Bypass?

Editor’s note: Beverly is a dear friend of mine. She nudges me when I need nudging and my life honestly would not be as full without her in it. Thank you, love <3.

Editor’s note: Beverly is a dear friend of mine. She nudges me when I need nudging and my life honestly would not be as full without her in it. Thank you, love <3.


I help people use their recovery process for greater purpose and good.

But did you know that most people can't even get to living their purpose in recovery because their soul work is priority.

Truth...

You may (or may not) have heard of a spiritual bypass.

Same is true for a purpose bypass.

You can't jump into purpose work without doing your own inner work.

Well, you can...but it won't be pretty.

Been there, done that.

Part of my story is that I was always a giver. I gave in order to receive love.

As a child, I was HUGE into volunteering. It made me feel good to do good for others. I led organizations, won awards and got a lot of value from giving.


In college, I studied Psychology. Really I studied psychology so that I could better understand myself. I volunteered at a Crisis Center for several years where I would talk to people who were struggling and suicidal.

And after college, I quickly looked for next steps where I could be giving again and feeling useful and valuable.

At 24, I found myself working at a domestic violence shelter. I started off as a Residential Tech and worked my way up to Program Manager.

I was hard-working, over-responsible and over-giving.

These qualities can be good but they are a double edge sword.

As I lost myself more and more into my work, the negative aspects of the qualities came out.

I was helping women and children form healthier and happier lives outside of abuse while I was going home after work and abusing myself with destructive behaviors.

I did that on a daily basis. And the shame was overwhelming.

I was living completely out of integrity and alignment.

I was doing for others what I wasn't willing to do for myself.

And it was literally killing me inside out.


Your system will eventually provide you enough feedback where you either wake up and do it differently or you fade out and simply exist.

Clearly because of the work I do, I talk to many people who also fall into this same trap.

The trap of giving at the expense of Self. The trap of actually telling yourself that's a good thing. And the trap of feeling guilty for taking good care of yourself.

I see this same dynamic with other helping professionals: nurses, doctors, social workers, therapists, case workers, counselors, caretakers...you get the point.

Being a helping professional means you are helping yourself FIRST.

Does that resonate? Is that true for you? Honestly...

It's super easy for people who are helpers to put themselves on the back-burner and put others first.

And I lovingly challenge you to actually look at if that perspective is what's healthiest for you and those you love.

It's our duty to ourselves to make sure we are helping from the healthiest version of ourselves, from the healthiest place within us.

That means:

💌Healthy boundaries

💌Healthy self-talk

💌Healthy daily practice

I'm living proof that you can catch your codependency and unhealthy giving and turn it around.

But I'm not going to lie...

It takes a lot of work to put yourself first, stay consistent with your commitment to Self and be an example.


System is important…

  • You need to know what to look for

  • You need to know how to get through it

  • You need to have accountability to actually commit to it

I'm super lucky that Spiritual Psychology fell into my lap while I was ready to receive a new way of being.

I'm sure it didn't really just fall into my lap but was really something I intended and manifested in my life because I was ready.

Beverly showering me with love and support in one of those UNIVERSE moments at She Recovers LA.

Beverly showering me with love and support in one of those UNIVERSE moments at She Recovers LA.

Ready for something new and ready for a new way of relating to myself.

When you are ready for something more, more is provided to you.

Take a look around and look for the evidence that you are being supported.

Are you making the best use of the support?

This year is all about shedding the old while healing what’s unresolved. I'm really resonating with Healer Heal Thyself. My people are those who love to help and give to others and I'm here to help you make sure that's happening from a healthy place.

Therefore, you need to be living a healthy life and being a healthy example.

You don't have to be perfect but you need to feel really good about your life if you are going to be coaching, counseling or any other kind of helping professional to other people.

I've done this work myself and you can too.


What is it you need to clean up (both figuratively or literally) in order to be the best helper that you can be?!

What do you need to do right now to help yourself?

So if you're feeling like you need to improve some areas of your life so that you can step into your purpose work + you’d like a cool visual to help you along the way, I’m happy to send you my Helper’s Healing Roadmap.

{{Click the button above to send an email to Beverly. She’ll send you a personalized message along with the Helper’s Healing Roadmap.}}

Let me shower you with love and support for your healing journey by sending you a framework you can follow for your own healing plus those you serve.

Support is available to you now.

Your purpose-driven work is going to be much improved because of your own inner healing.

No more spiritual or purpose bypassing, my dear. It’s time to do your inner work so that you can get rid of that nasty imposter syndrome and live your potential with courage and confidence!


beverly

Beverly Sartain is a Transformational Coach for those who are ready to use their recovery to be of service to the world and live their full potential. She is the founder of Recovery Life Management and The Recovery Ripple Project.